10 years ago today I dragged my overstuffed pink suitcase to the airport, kissed my family goodbye and cried for 2hours and 20 min - all the way from Riga to London.
This is not a story of inspiration and success!
This is a truthful story of a young girl who wanted more; ambitious to lead an independent life!
I remember feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and scared.
Coming from relatively small town of Riga, arriving at Victoria station in London I was immediately hit with a culture shock. The same way someone hits you with a paintball-gun. You think you are ready but you are not!!
There wasn't anything familiar – the sounds, the sights, the smells, the crowds, even the language that I studied for years and was quite confident with - sounded like poorly recorded audio tape. I could neither understand or catch up with it!
Each day maneuvering through the crowds of people and the public transport system - just getting somewhere felt exhausting!
I was getting the real hard lessons of the world and they were coming at me fast!
There was so much to handle!
Weeks after applying for jobs – walking in stores with my pathetic CV and broken English -
receiving countless rejections – I felt beat!!!
I was still sleeping on a couch at my friends living room – in a house with 5 other people – feeling incredibly uncomfortable with my overstuffed pink suitcase exploded yet crammed in a corner, overstaying my welcome.
Weeks had gone by and I was still in a search for a job and a home.
Eventually it worked out. It always does!
Going back was not an option I gave to myself, I also knew that I wasn’t going to settle for some strawberry picking or sandwich packing factory job – I wanted to work in a beautiful store – selling clothes that I couldn’t afford even in my wildest dreams.
And that I did.
My first job was working for an agency that would assign me to different boutiques and brands. I started in Burberry, which was a brand that I couldn’t afford in my wildest dreams, and then I moved to Harrods where I spent months, eventually years, working with the most luxurious clothing, fine jewelry & watch brands in the World.
Each day I experienced so much wealth, so much outrageous spending – serving customers that were only limited by the availability of goods, rather than the budget.
There was no ceiling to the price they would pay!
Selling Chanel bags, Loro Piana cashmere, shoes and perfumes that could pay for my entire years rent (and more) – I worked 28 to 30 days a month just to cover my bills and afford living in London!
After my 8 hour shift I felt relieved to take off the painfully uncomfortable, cheap synthetic leather shoes. They smelled so foul that I had to keep them in a double plastic bag, which added to the shameful discomfort. Putting them on each day was a reminder of how failure smells like and I was honestly disgusted by myself.
But I looked around – I was not the only one, ambitiously trying to ‘make it in the big World’..
I learned then, that the glamorous and luxurious image of the World (at least the most luxurious department store in the world) is just a glittering surface to the pain and suffering that lies beneath.
With my pain-endured, sweaty feet and I 'crawled' home – to my basement room that had no windows and was no wider than an average size bathroom.
That was my first year In London.
When I started studying in university I had to reduce my work hours, so my monthly income was so small that I sometimes had to walk 90 min to work one way, just because I couldn’t afford the ticket for public transport.
My eating habits were horrifying (as any traumatic experience- this one I have removed from my memory) and there I was – selling the dream to the wealthiest people in the world.
I caught myself in these two extreme Worlds and it was a weird place to be.
I didn’t realize it then, but I learned the value of things.
I learned how important it is for people to be seen a certain way.
I learned that there is no happiness in money. Things only give you temporary pleasure, and being able to afford it all - it's not an inspiring place to be!
I learned so much more!
After a while of living in a basement I moved back with my friend – this time in attempt to save some money (or rather, stay afloat) – we decided to share a room. So for 3 years we lived in one room, going to bed and waking up next to each other. Looking back at it – it seems like such a wild decision, but I remember it with the biggest smile on my face !!
Maybe that is why still today I love being alone?! When I was young – I was the only child and almost always on my own – I learned to really love my own company. Moving to London – being alone felt like such a luxury, that I could never afford..
I studied, because I felt like it was important.. I worked in the most luxurious department store in the world, because it seemed like the best place to be, and for some time I also worked nights, because selling overpriced alcohol pays you more than selling overpriced clothes.
For almost 5 years I was living my independent life – ambitious and very uncomfortable..
Until I could move on - continuing to follow my dreams!
It’s been 10 years now since I moved, yet it still feels as if it was yesterday –
the scariest day of my life and it also happens to be the most important (at least so far).
There are countless options & possibilities of how one’s life can turn out, and I am not somebody who would spend a minute thinking about it, but what I do know with absolute certainty is that moving out from my home, and starting an independent life at the age of 19 was the most important decision I made..
My life would have never be the same if I stayed home!
All the places I worked, all the people I met, the skills I learned (through jobs I hated) and growth I experienced (through incredible discomfort) - these are the things that don’t come from books or your comfortable living room at your parents house.
I have built such resilience.
I have grown confident.
I have really hit the bottom, so I am not afraid of falling any lower than that
(I don't think it is even possible).
Don’t let anyone ever tell you ''You’re too ambitious or You’re crazy.''
It sounds cheesy but it’s true – follow your heart and do the thing that feels right.
Even if it scares you to death!
You must find that belief in yourself and then, with every challenge that comes your way, you will grow and learn how incredibly strong you are!
And one day, 10 years later, you will look back at your life and you will smile, with tears in your eyes, saying to yourself how proud you are for the path you have taken and for the person you have become!
Here are some photo memories from my London years..
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